"You've got as many lives as you like, and more, even ones you don't want." ~George Harrison

Well, today's been one reminder after another of my past life. And no, I'm not talking about my past life in which I was Native American Princess Day Star, of the Algonquin Tribe... 

Yeah, I know, I was hottttt back then.

No, I'm talking about the life I had before I grew up. It really does feel like my life has been split into two distinctly separate ones... In one life, my mother was sick, I was in a very long relationship where I was unhappy, and I was battling a depression that went beyond just feeling sad a lot. In my life now, though, my relationships are different, and I'm different. I'm more of the person I want to be. Here's what brought on this sudden reflection...

My ex-boyfriend sent me a text message today informing me that my favorite player on the Devils was traded. Now, a few years ago I would have cared. A big part of our relationship was watching Devils Hockey. Today, though, my only reaction to that was, "Why the hell are you texting me??" I didn't say that, though. But after several texts from him that I've not responded to, I felt the need to put a stop to it, and after some inner battling between being a bitch and keeping my mouth shut, the bitch won. I responded, "Does your wife know you text me?" Radio silence.

The second thing today that flickered in from my past life was looking at pictures of my old boss on Facebook with my sister. Now, I don't miss her at all. In fact, I could hear that she was mysteriously turned into an elephant and sent to the San Diego Zoo and I wouldn't care. But she also had pictures of her children, who I basically raised, and my heart just ached. They're getting so old, and so big, and here's the kicker: their lives are going on without me. 

I wouldn't trade anything I have now for anything I had back then. I am so lucky to be emotionally healthy and stable (something I really never thought I'd say about myself), I am with a man who I love so dearly and who treats me right and never lies to me (another thing I never thought I'd say), I actually like my job, and am appreciated there (...and again) and I'm my own person, with my own friends, my own interests, and my own life. 

I really never expected to get here. I'm very lucky. 

Well, as the tribe elders used to say, Wakan Tankan Nici Un, or, May the Great Spirit walk with you.