Well, if it's 2012 (which it is... duh) I've had this blog for almost two years... which, incidentally means that it's been almost two years since I went to Ireland. Two years since I proved to myself that I can be alone, that I could be adventurous, that I could follow through with something. Unfortunately, though, I haven't put these lessons to use.
For much too long I've been treading the proverbial waters of my life, working hard but not moving anywhere, not making myself better. Starting now, though, I have actually set goals for myself.
Last year, my New Year's edition of the blog offered not much inspiration or motivation (instead, advising my (probably nonexistent) reader to make a resolution they could keep, and write it down). This year I will not make a "resolution" per se, because I think resolutions are plans that we plan to break even as we say them. Instead of listing things like "I want to lose weight," or "I want to write in my diary more often" (both of which I actually do want to do), I have created a plan that will lead to a different life for myself... but here's the important part: it's a life that I would be good at. Something that makes both myself and those who know me say "I can totally see you doing that."
So, this year I am going to research and apply to grad school. I will also be studying for the GRE, which I will be taking no later than October. By the end of the year I an going to apply to a PhD program in psychology.
Listed like this, in black-and white, it doesn't look so glamorous, but believe me, it feels amazing to be working toward a goal again.
Since I got back from Ireland I've felt like I've been living in someone else's too-small shoes. After a whole life of working toward something-- graduating from school, getting to Ireland-- it made me feel like a different, much less inspiring version of myself to be sitting in the middle of my life, sifting through the mess and not moving in any direction. Even though I just started to work toward this goal, I feel a little more life in me. I'm not made to live a small life, so now I'm taking big steps.
Wish me strength, wisdom, and motivation.
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