I'm in the mood to write today. In fact, I just spent the better part of my evening (when I wasn't being lazy and unproductive and watching online episodes of Ugly Betty, (ironically, a show about an aspiring writer)) searching for freelance writing jobs... fruitless this time, but I think I'll keep looking. Although, can I commit to a regular writing gig when I can't even keep up with my blog? Apparently I'm not really a writer at all. Which begs the question:
WHAT THE HELL AM I, THEN??
Stay tuned. I'll fill you in as soon as I know. Try not to hold your breath, though.
On another note, big things happening in other areas of my life. After 6 months of living in an 8 square foot cell--ahem, I mean room-- Boyfriend and I are moving into our own place in T minus 9 days. (That's single digits, folks! Oh right, you weren't around when I was at 5-4-3-2 months in the countdown. Trust me, it's a big freakin' deal.) This is at once so exciting and completely terrifying. I'm moving in with my best friend, and we've been living together for 98% of our 2 year relationship anyway, so what's so scary about it? Well, aside from the fact that we're legally bound in a lease, how can you plan a future with someone when the future is, to say the least, uncertain?
Just this week Boyfriend and I had a frustration-fueled discussion about why we've been fighting more frequently than usual the past few weeks (and by more than usual I mean once or twice... we rarely come to verbal blows... or blows of any other nature.
As it turned out, Boyfriend was reluctant to admit to me that he was feeling a little too together, a concept he didn't think I would understand. Now, I don't feel this way, because I have time without him to do my own thing while he is at work. But this man... (pause for dramatic effect and admiration)... does not have one single day off. He goes to school during the day on weekdays and gets straight A's, and most of those days he goes to work in the evenings and busts his ass until 11 pm, and he works both weekend days, sometimes double shifts. And when he isn't in school or at work, he is with me. There is simply no leftover time for his family or friends, and to make matters worse, he can't even hang out in a different room when he comes home... we live in one room. A small one.
I tried to assure him that it is completely normal to feel this way, and I feel it too, sometimes.
When we have a little more square footage to roam in, I'm sure the stress of too much togetherness will dwindle.
So that's the good, the bad, and the ugly. But if needing some alone time is as ugly as it gets, I think we're going to be pretty happy in our new place.
And I'll keep looking for writing gigs. I've got nothing to lose but writer's block and a shattered self-image, right?
I'll keep you posted. I hope.
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