Reflections and Ramblings, or, Things I Didn't Know About Myself Until I Wrote This

Ahh, yes, now I remember why I stopped blogging every night. It's because after working 10-12 hours a day at two jobs and commuting a half hour to arrive home at 8:30 at night, I'm pooped! All I want to do is get in my pj's and snuggle in bed with my book... or maybe a couple episodes of Glee. But I made a promise, and dog-gone-it, I'm going to blog.

So, the 25th of December just passed, which is a day very dear to my heart... no, I'm not talking about Christmas, although by now you know my connection to that day... but Christmas is also the anniversary of the day I booked my ticket to Ireland, and the first big decision of my life. It was the first time I actually did one of the crazy things I'm always saying I'll do.

I've been feeling a little bittersweet about the upcoming anniversary of my trip, too. After all, this time last year I was counting the days (29) until I left for Ireland. It was something so huge, and looking forward to it seemed to define me, somehow. I've always had something to look forward to... like if things in my life weren't going as planned, I could look at a milepost on the horizon and say, "It's just until that happens. Things will be different after that." First it was going back to college after I dropped out. Then it was graduating. Then it was Ireland.

At this point I don't have anything on the horizon that I can point to and know it'll be a fresh start. I guess I'll have to jump on the soon-to-arrive New Year's Resolution Bandwagon as it barrels down the street carrying everyone else who has achieved all of their previous goals.

I guess it shouldn't be a bad thing, that I've achieved the goals I've set for myself. And while I still have others, they are just dreams with no dates on them... I work much better under the hefty weight of a deadline (Just ask my creative writing professors). Sure, I'm working on launching my business, but with no cake jobs in the near future I'm having momentary doubts; and my dreams of becoming a bestselling author are, well, not really possible when I haven't written anything in months.

Perhaps my New Year's resolution should be to set more goals for myself... goals with concrete dates, and at closer intervals. It might boost my sense of accomplishment. The more goals you have, the more you're likely to reach, right?

Hmm, that went off on a tangent I didn't expect... I started to write about how much I'm missing Ireland and how I can't believe it's been almost a year, and end up talking about something I didn't even realize about myself until I wrote it. Well, that's why I love my blog. Which is almost one year old, if you can believe that. I'll try to think of a special Happy Birthday Edition on January 13th.

Goodnight, darlings.