Merry Christmas, my darlings. I'm taking advantage of the midday Christmas lull to write a few words in the spirit of the day.
Boyfriend had a difficult time wrapping his head around me wanting to leave Jamaica where it was eighty degrees and gorgeous to come home to Jersey where it's 25 degrees and bitter, just for Christmas. And as many times as I tried to explain it to him, he couldn't really understand. That's why I'm glad he has been present for our family traditions this year... Christmas is not just a day, it's a feeling, something you have to experience to understand. It's being around family when no one is thinking about going to work, or paying the bills, or homework, or chores... only about being together and enjoying each other's company.
My mother loved Christmas and she always made it special. Even when times were hard or we didn't have a lot of extra money, there were always what seemed like hundreds of presents under the tree, always happiness and good food and music and company. I love Christmas more for that reason.. not for what it is now, but for what I remember it to be. Christmas has a special magic for me that has never disappeared, though I sometimes feel it less.
Christmas has changed for me over the years. Losing Mom changed some of our traditions, and combining families with my Dad's girlfriend and her girls changed even more, but we also created some new ones, too, and I wouldn't change those. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are the two most special days of the year, so much so that I'll leave Jamaica to experience it.
A part of my heart hurts for people who don't have the same Christmas I do, and for those who have no Christmas at all; those for whom Christmas is all about what's under the tree, not who is around it. Christmas is the feeling you get when you give a gift, not when you open one, and it's being grateful for the food on your table knowing that someone else's table is empty, and its giving something to a stranger just because you want to share with them the magic of the day.
So, as reminiscent of a corny Christmas song as this is, I wish we could all keep the Christmas magic with us all year long, and remember that we're all in this life together; and family is the most important thing there is... both the one you're born with-- the sisters who used to drive you crazy and now you can't live without, the father whose wisdom and acceptance taught us to strive for wonder; ....and the one you make for yourself-- the sisters who earned their title not through birth, but through time spent laughing and talking; the people you find on craigslist when you search for roommates who turn out to be your kindred spirit, and the people you meet through them who seem to be a cloned version of yourself; the people you fall in love with when you spend a summer waiting tables who become the reason you look forward to every day; and the people you pick up along the way at places like a certain table at Starbucks who you just know you were meant to love. Everyone should all be so lucky as to have a family such as mine.
Merry Christmas, my darlings.
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