"When you're finished changing, you're finished." -Benjamin Franklin

Today I'm posing a question to all of you... It is a difficult one, and it is as arguable as the death penalty or abortion rights, and the debate can probably go on forever... This is not an attempt to answer it, but an exploration, and an offering of my vision of it. The question in question:

Can people change?

Some people argue, absolutely yes, people can change. Others insist that they can't. Now, I know we cannot change other people; this is for sure. How many sitcoms, chick-flicks, and stand-up comedy routines have delightfully informed us (the "us" in question being heterosexual women) that "you can't change a man"? Well, sure, no one person can change another- man, woman, or otherwise. Not to sound too cliche, but "change has to come from within." (I know, I'm kicking myself for that one.)

Every day we change our habits, our jobs, our living situations, our minds, and our underwear, but these are all singular things... Can people change overall?

All of our daily experiences shape who we are. Imagine each of us as a piece of wet clay spinning on a pottery wheel. Every person who comes into our life, every place that we travel, every choice that we make, is like a finger that comes along and touches the clay as is spins, leaving a definite mark. All of these finger marks will eventually (sooner or later) make this block of clay into a unique piece of art.

I have been shaped by many things- the turbulent years of elementary school, the illness and death of my mother, the many jobs I've had, having my heart broken, my college career, my recent month in Ireland. The people in my life have also made me into myself- my parents, whose love and acceptance I've never doubted, my sisters, who set examples for me and are my best friends, bosses, coworkers, friends, boyfriends, and even people who I encounter only once or twice. And for these people, I am also the finger that shapes them.

Time changes us, of course, but do you think that we all end up with the basic traits we were born with? Can a person who's always been pessimistic one day turn into an optimist? Can a person who has always been relatively happy suddenly become angry and bitter?

And isn't one of the biggest reasons relationships come to an end is because people do change, but at such different rates? Is it realistic to expect to spend your entire life with another human being, given that that chance the both of you will grow at exactly the same rate is pretty slim?

I know that certain things about me have changed, while others (despite my efforts) have not. Perhaps if we all accept ourselves for who we are, it'll be easier to imagine the effect that the little changes have, and that effect will be even greater.

But on the other hand, I'm still just a stubborn, free-spirited dreamer. And as they say, some things never change.