Revelations of a Real-Life Adult

As my self-indulgent, terrifyingly wonderful Ireland trip is coming to a close, I'm starting to have that heavy-as-lead panic feeling about coming home to an existence as an unemployed-recently-graduated-ex-nanny-aspiring-writer/photographer. When I type that list of qualifications into Google, here's the job listing that comes up:

Professional Old Coffee Cup Holder
        Seeking: unemployed-recently-graduated-ex-nanny-aspiring-writer/photographer to sit on any undefined street in New York City looking extremely poor and unfortunate and holding a recently (or not-so-recently) drained paper coffee cup as they look up at passersby with sad puppy eyes that say, "Please won't you donate a few shillings to the Unemployed-Recently-Graduated-Ex-Nanny-Aspiring-Writer/Photographer Foundation?
        Qualifications: Experience as a nanny, barista, waitress, salesperson, deli-counter girl, and medical office filer. No real life or professional skills required.
        Compensation: Spare change.

Not very promising. In all actuality, all the jobs listed require at least two years of experience in any given field, and as I have no experience or qualifications to speak of, I'm convinced I'll be a nanny forever.

If only I had a skill! For example, during an excursion to Grafton Street today, I encountered a group of people surrounding a loud bearded Irishman juggling flaming batons. Amidst the din of uproarious applause, he demonstrated his ability to juggle the batons and a knife that looked like it came straight out of the movie Aladdin while atop a seven-foot unicycle. And I'm sure that Monster.com, Careerbuilder.com, Idealist.org, and Craigslist.org are all swarming with job listings for people whose qualifications include being able to juggle flaming batons while riding a seven-foot unicycle.

Unfortunately, I am unable to do this. So, despite the fact that I now possess a Bachelors Degree, I will forever work at Starbucks, GapBody, Keils Deli, Cafe Sultan, Papa Razzi, and for every wealthy stay-at-home-mom in the Tri-state area.

Remind me again why I decided to finish college...?